Katy's Canvas: that is thus

an unattainable reality

I recently wrote a paper in which I had to outline how two different plays (the ghost sonata and the wild duck, 19th ce.) present the theme of honesty. I patiently untangled the circular “drama” of the plays’ characters only to arrive at the idea that “honesty is an ideal imagined into being by human subjects that is thus an individual concept and an unattainable social reality.”

to tell someone the whole truth, to be completely honest with someone… where would you begin? how far back do you go? how much do you tell?

you would never get through it, even if you started now, even if you wanted to. when you think about it, the truth has neither a beginning nor an end. it stretches back infinitely into the past and lays groundwork for the future. it has no origin.

whereas certain people are aware of and bring out certain truths about you (your mother, for example, knew who you were before you had words to express it, and reminds you of it all the time), others are only there for snapshots of your life- flashing events, strange comments, flirting eyes- which build a picture of you, a unique picture of you. thus each relationship is shaped by what truths are shared and what truths remain hidden, intentionally or not. it is not to say we’re all blatant liars, but to suggest that reality is unreal, that all we can do is have faith in each other.

it is also to suggest that stabilizing truths about yourself and others is an act of creation and our only opportunity to mean anything at all.

“I saw a Colonel who was not a Colonel, I found a noble benefactor who turned out to be a crook, I saw a mummy that was not a mummy, and a maid… Where is virginity to be found? Or beauty? Only in the flowers and trees…and in my head when I am dressed in my Sunday clothes. Where are faith and honour to be found? In fairy tales and games that children play. Where can I find anything that will fulfill its promise? Only in my imagination.”

August Strindberg, The Ghost Sonata