Inspired by L. Ron Hubbard's spontaneous creation of the Church of Scientology, I've decided to introduce a religion of my own...
: ) ISM DOCTRINE
In prehistoric times, before the dinosaurs or cavemen or venus fly traps, mythical creatures inherited the earth and lived in peace. An unexpected visit from aliens led to the greatest magical war in the entire universe, and ended in the genocide of the poor, innocent mythical creatures. In need of defense, Mother Earth started growing dinosaurs in 7 different locations across the globe. The aliens, intimidated and discouraged by the production of these threatening animals, fled the galaxy with a promise to never come back again. : )ists believe that the mythical creatures are not extinct, just in hiding. Our goal is to find them through fearless adventure and a strong spiritual belief in their existence. The mythical creatures are said to more likely reveal themselves if they smell, hear, taste, or feel a person's tears of joy. If time alive is spent : ), members will live in an alternate universe with mythical creatures after death.
RITUALS
- Members participate in frivolent rituals on a once-a-week basis. Member has freedom to choose which ritual they perform. Ritual choices are based on season, so that each member can appreciate all times of the year in nature. For example:
- Summer- Squirrel fishing, bike rides, jumping in puddles
- Spring- feeding birds, picking flowers, skipping through a forest
- Winter- ice skating, sledding, walking in snow, snow fort making
- Fall- carving pumpkins, rollerblading to the pet shop
- All members must eat candy during all seasons for maximum pleasure.
- All members record their lives through drawing pictures of their imagination, which gages the individual's progression through life and their ability to achieve : ).
- Meditation/worship must be done in trees.
- Acceptance of unicorns as the anti-Christ.
