ever since i wrote my post about the curiosity of chrysalises, i've started seeing them everywhere. in some cases i'm actively seeking them out, for example, when i biked to the botanic gardens to see the "butterflies and blooms" exhibit. there, i was able to talk one on one with a butterfly expert near a case of chrysalises at various stages. what i learned about this exhibit is that they receive hundreds of chrysalises every week from a butterfly farm out in colorado. unlike an art museum, they need to keep their exhibit alive, which integrates a bit of science into the curatorial process. the chrysalises take about a week to hatch, and they all emerge at a different pace. slinking out of their cozy cocoons, the butterflies take a day or two to dry their wings before taking flight into the controlled habitat. it is still mysterious to me exactly what happens within the chrysalis, but it was confirmed that the chrysalis that is visible to us is not the butterfly's wings but a snake skin-type thing that the caterpillar sheds to become a butterfly. the investigation as you can see is still underway.
some photos from my adventure:
the more i pay attention, the more i realize that i'm not the first to see chrysalises as an artistic subject.
i wouldn't hesitate to suggest that artists' interest in butterflies is strongly linked to the metaphor of metamorphosis and the mystery surrounding their transformation. the fact that the changes going on inside the chrysalis are invisible to outsiders makes it so much like our own, subjective experiences of change.
cathie bleck, exhibiting at firecat gallery in bucktown for the month of september
one of the things i wrote in my last post was that having a full time job will change the way your habits and the way you use your time indefinitely. i'm sensitive to the way this may come across as negative, but, like anything else, everything has its pros and cons, right?
yes, it has now become apparent that i, for pretty much eternity, have signed myself up to wake up at 6am every morning and be unavailable to do "my own thing" until 4pm, 5pm considering the commute. at the same time this sense of permanence is a little bit scary, i for one have to be grateful that my office is totally supportive of its employees having a life outside of work, and more importantly, must recognize that even going to work and putting in that time is doing something for myself. a career- much like school- is indeed a journey of personal growth, a stimulating environment in which you grow what you're capable of and make small personal conquests everyday. it gives me a sense of purpose, drives me to answer my own questions, and offers a support network of mentors and people to look to who have already learned what i'm learning. they test my fitness everyday.
sure, on those groggy mondays or long commutes it can feel like i'm just a part of the money-making machine, that i have no autonomy in this capitalistic world save with my wallet. a buzzfeed article brutally reminds me that i am in the "freshman year of adulthood", too old to make irresponsible decisions but too young to have the experience and resources to make responsible ones. but securing a long term job - not just a part time, temporary or unpaid one - to be responsible for has made me not only care more and think harder about each step i take, it makes me want to be responsible for other long term things in my life. for my physical health and for my deepest relationships. it pushes me to use my outside of work time more productively - not only because i have less of it, but because i realize that if i put in the same amount of work on my personal life that i do on my job, i will see more, have more experiences, and feel lighter and more satisfied with myself with each new learning opportunity taken.
i think my last post - quite heartfelt- comes across negative because there is some fear rooted in it. fear that i'm growing out of a careless childhood self and am becoming more, in my worst nightmares, like everyone else. i'm proving myself wrong to see that a stable routine, that a constant income, that appearing pulled together actually does give me more freedom. my values - a strong belief in serendipity, in taking risks, in never checking the time and never choosing between what's real and what's illusion - are evolving to fit into this new lifestyle, and i'm just trying to make sure i don't lose hold of the things that make me, me, in the process.
as paul simon suggests, we need to fall before we learn to fly. the fall? realizing there are some personal sacrifices - not going out every night, being uncomfortably professional - that need to be made to be independent. to have that career that won't drive me up a wall, but will give me the wings to fly over it.
other than writing (ranting) about this awkward stage of life, activities i've been involved with lately include seeing umphrey's mcgee at ravinia, catching a fish, driving a jetski for the first time, collecting snail shells, making miniature wildflower bouquets, sailing hobie cats on lake michigan, visiting the zhou b warehouse galleries, and going canoeing on the skokie lagoons,
all with this lovely lady.
next week: cirque du soleil, dinner along the chicago river, a lecture on hindu painting at the art institute, and expo chicago!
featured artists: inka essenhigh, robin urton, krista huot
