be brave and free

ever since i wrote my post about the curiosity of chrysalises, i've started seeing them everywhere. in some cases i'm actively seeking them out, for example, when i biked to the botanic gardens to see the "butterflies and blooms" exhibit. there, i was able to talk one on one with a butterfly expert near a case of chrysalises at various stages. what i learned about this exhibit is that they receive hundreds of chrysalises every week from a butterfly farm out in colorado. unlike an art museum, they need to keep their exhibit alive, which integrates a bit of science into the curatorial process. the chrysalises take about a week to hatch, and they all emerge at a different pace. slinking out of their cozy cocoons, the butterflies take a day or two to dry their wings before taking flight into the controlled habitat. it is still mysterious to me exactly what happens within the chrysalis, but it was confirmed that the chrysalis that is visible to us is not the butterfly's wings but a snake skin-type thing that the caterpillar sheds to become a butterfly. the investigation as you can see is still underway.

some photos from my adventure: 

the more i pay attention, the more i realize that i'm not the first to see chrysalises as an artistic subject.

i wouldn't hesitate to suggest that artists' interest in butterflies is strongly linked to the metaphor of metamorphosis and the mystery surrounding their transformation. the fact that the changes going on inside the chrysalis are invisible to outsiders makes it so much like our own, subjective experiences of change.

cathie bleck, exhibiting at firecat gallery in bucktown for the month of september

one of the things i wrote in my last post was that having a full time job will change the way your habits and the way you use your time indefinitely. i'm sensitive to the way this may come across as negative, but, like anything else, everything has its pros and cons, right?

yes, it has now become apparent that i, for pretty much eternity, have signed myself up to wake up at 6am every morning and be unavailable to do "my own thing" until 4pm, 5pm considering the commute. at the same time this sense of permanence is a little bit scary, i for one have to be grateful that my office is totally supportive of its employees having a life outside of work, and more importantly, must recognize that even going to work and putting in that time is doing something for myself. a career- much like school- is indeed a journey of personal growth, a stimulating environment in which you grow what you're capable of and make small personal conquests everyday. it gives me a sense of purpose, drives me to answer my own questions, and offers a support network of mentors and people to look to who have already learned what i'm learning. they test my fitness everyday. 

sure, on those groggy mondays or long commutes it can feel like i'm just a part of the money-making machine, that i have no autonomy in this capitalistic world save with my wallet. a buzzfeed article brutally reminds me that i am in the "freshman year of adulthood", too old to make irresponsible decisions but too young to have the experience and resources to make responsible ones. but securing a long term job - not just a part time, temporary or unpaid one - to be responsible for has made me not only care more and think harder about each step i take, it makes me want to be responsible for other long term things in my life. for my physical health and for my deepest relationships. it pushes me to use my outside of work time more productively - not only because i have less of it, but because i realize that if i put in the same amount of work on my personal life that i do on my job, i will see more, have more experiences, and feel lighter and more satisfied with myself with each new learning opportunity taken.

i think my last post - quite heartfelt- comes across negative because there is some fear rooted in it. fear that i'm growing out of a careless childhood self and am becoming more, in my worst nightmares, like everyone else. i'm proving myself wrong to see that a stable routine, that a constant income, that appearing pulled together actually does give me more freedom. my values - a strong belief in serendipity, in taking risks, in never checking the time and never choosing between what's real and what's illusion - are evolving to fit into this new lifestyle, and i'm just trying to make sure i don't lose hold of the things that make me, me, in the process. 

as paul simon suggests, we need to fall before we learn to fly. the fall? realizing there are some personal sacrifices - not going out every night, being uncomfortably professional - that need to be made to be independent. to have that career that won't drive me up a wall, but will give me the wings to fly over it. 

other than writing (ranting) about this awkward stage of life, activities i've been involved with lately include seeing umphrey's mcgee at ravinia, catching a fish, driving a jetski for the first time, collecting snail shells, making miniature wildflower bouquets, sailing hobie cats on lake michigan, visiting the zhou b warehouse galleries, and going canoeing on the skokie lagoons, 

all with this lovely lady.

next week: cirque du soleil, dinner along the chicago river, a lecture on hindu painting at the art institute, and expo chicago!

featured artists: inka essenhigh, robin urton, krista huot

wandering on track

i've learned so many things this year

that you must be vulnerable to know anyone, really

that sometimes you have to let others' sadness run its course

that salespeople will find ways to sell you things that you never wanted

that a full-time job will change your life, your habits and the way you use your time indefinitely

that your tastes, likes and dislikes will change as you get older whether you like it or not;
that your values are always in flux, and you better roll with it

that life will push you to grow up, and care what people think of you

that you will only get to understand your parents better the older you get - for better or for worse

erin cone

i also learned that the renaissance fair exists, and everyone there looks like they came out of a fairy tale

that using someone's name is the simplest yet most effective way to let them know you care,
that their identity is being acknowledged and appreciated

and that freedom is an individual concept, and thus is attainable to everyone, in their own way

antonio mora

"We can't direct the wind

but we can adjust the sails"

~who knows

 ivan konstantinovich (19th century)

(i still have a thing for that ability to see light through the crests of waves)

ray collins photography

...and some predictable news from the art world:

"For-profit art dealers are organizing shows for nonprofit museums. Museum professionals are organizing shows for commercial art fairs and galleries. Museum collections are being monetized, rented out for profit to other museums and private corporations. Corporations are co-organizing museum shows.

...the wall separating art museums from business activities is crumbling. In fact, so commonplace is the boundary-blurring that few any longer notice. A new normal is in the making."

duchess of cook county

going to open up a bit here.

the nature of blogging has changed for me over the years. what i used to single out as the coolest art i could find is now being circulated through sites like colossal, my modern metropolis, boooom and of course, tumblr, and fed directly into the newsfeeds of millions of users everyday. i'll see an artist i considered to be a well-kept secret go viral with facebook likes and be posted again and again in the same day, only to end up somewhere so far out of the art world that even common buzzfeed and pinterest users- and the entire tumblr universe- are aware of the image. but never the artist- no, don't give them the credit. 

it depreciates the work of art in question since its "aura" - the notion which gives art its value, that there is only one of them in the world -  has been compromised by its mass exposure, its popularity.

i question if it's still worthwhile for me to post the spectacular art i find (like the majestic glowing caves or glass sculptures below), since i no longer know that my blog is the first place you're going to see it.  katy's canvas is supposed to be dedicated to the out-of-the-ordinary, the things you don't see everyday. now i worry that everything i post you have already seen somewhere else - not on a gallery website, or another unread blog, or in the divine corridors of an actual museum- but right on your facebook or tumblr where you didn't have to do work to find it. it's become a part of the mundane, and if i post it again, i'm just adding to the over-saturated world of media, creating another copy of the same image only to chip away at its value. 

although adverse to my open and loving spirit, i for some reason think art should only be allotted to those who seek it. who really appreciate it. i guess what i already knew, but am realizing again, is that keeping art esoteric is what keeps it precious. finding art should be an adventure, an intimate and challenging journey. call me pretentious, call me the duchess of cook county- guardian of les artistes- but i believe your personal contact with the work is what gives art its meaning. 

photos of glow worms in New Zealand's caves by local photographer Joseph Michael

who is now internet famous

but probably won't ever exhibit in a museum :/

you see, my blog is just a starting point. 

take these artists' names, and go on a treasure hunt!

for example, these multilayered glass sculptures by Ben Young

what else does he do? who inspires him?

how does he inspire you?

while we're on glass, below is an artist i found on a trip to Ken Saunder's in the West Loop gallery district (right outside of my new office)

talk about an artist whose work needs to be experienced in person-

these glass sculptures reveal and conceal themselves based on the angle by which you view them

(making them very difficult to capture them via lens)

working on your flow? we all have been - since the beginning of human history:

A Meditation on the Art of Not Trying

chrysalis

chrysalis: a preparatory or transitional state 

chrysalism: the amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm

have you ever really thought about how amazing it is that a caterpillar

Samuel Jaffe

ACTUALLY

turns into a butterfly?

have you ever thought about how magical that process is?

what the hell goes on in the chrysalis to make such a transformation?

it's as if we learn about it in kindergarten

reading "the very hungry caterpillar"

then we stop thinking about it 

before our fully developed minds

can contemplate what it really is:

the perfect metaphor

for being in the middle of things

brain brimming with questions

because you don't yet know

where you're going, how you'll get there

or

that the questions you have

about yourself, the world

have no real answers

no explanations

no beginnings or ends

life just moves on,

mysteriously,

whether you like it or not

Rafael Araujo

but rather than assume 

with a career

and a spouse

and a home

i'll burst from my cozy cocoon

i'd like to think we are always in the process of becoming

that the chrysalis is in fact...

perpetual

Fernan Federici

unlike our crawly counterparts

the butterfly we wish to become exists in the mind alone

a vision which steers us through the unknown

something to strive for but never to own

a state of being that is not determined

but rather, we create for ourselves

Yoshitaka Amano

and while we can find beauty in the console of others,

no one else can guide us through, for

"While all old people have been young, no young people have been old,"

and

 "while you can describe your experience, you cannot confer it."

~Andrew Solomon, The Middle of Things

all we can do is

"Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms, or books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

~Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

or, do as David Sedaris does, and

"prefer to believe that inside every television there lives a community of versatile, thumb-size actors trained to portray everything from a thoughtful newscaster to the wife of a millionaire stranded on a desert island. Fickle gnomes control the weather, and an air conditioner is powered by a team of squirrels, their cheeks packed with ice cubes."

~David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

~