Katy's Canvas: October 2019

"the paradox is that whatever you resist persists -

the more you resist something the stronger it gets."

- inner worlds, outer worlds

artem chebokha

nur nielfa

@0073.UV

henrik aarrestad uldalen

i spend so much time writing through an institutional lens - a privilege, no doubt - that i want, at times, to see my own contours. its something i should put into practice more: to write down those thoughts that are my own, to put a frame around my mind every once in awhile as it, of course, wanders and grows. i want to make a record of what i believe right now - just an unfiltered list, let's see what comes out - and, years from now, revisit it and repost it with detailed annotations next to the items that no longer fit my criteria.

something ive been trying to work out especially lately is how important it is to have an immutable, i-will-argue-for-it- type of belief system, one that remains steady on issues both personal and political. i say this for two reasons: a) as you get older, people expect you to be more set in your ways and b) because i've noticed that people increasingly enjoy taking a solid side on any given topic, regardless the degree to which they know about the issue. taking my usual stance that 'every stance has a point' doesn't seem to work in conversation anymore: if im metaphorically swimming in a sea of beliefs, where everyone is right at least some of the time, my friends and foes alike are picking me up in their boats and bringing me back to the shore, where the shouting people are! the internet! the comments!

anyway, the list is coming. but this stems from a place of thinking the world is inherently contradictory lately, that we're having trouble as a civilization finding a difference between dualism and balance. one polarizes us by creating separate categories of everything, and the other reckons with the categories and finds stability and a center amid chaos. i want to exist at that center, and to a certain extent that's the only place i find myself and it's a little troubling philosophically because i don't see very many other people here. deep down, my life's concern is bringing about the joy in humanity and i focus myself more than anything on the state of the planet's happiness, and what worlds we're building with our words. with that said,

i believe you dont need to be political to be cool

i believe in saying yes

i believe in harnessing the wind

i believe there is a connection between music and art,
and dance and flight

i believe in killing several birds with one stone

i believe in bringing people together who are strangers to each other

i believe in stretching in public

i believe in eating in the sun

i believe we're part of the same consciousness

i believe in female goddess power

i believe we're all trying our best

i believe distraction is a tool

i believe in making displays out of items at the thrift store
and not buying any of them

i believe life's too short to be embarrassed

i believe we've forgotten how to spell

i believe stories are more real than memories

i believe love is magic

i believe love is limitless

i believe our bodies are in crisis

i believe in protecting our water

i believe in focusing on myself

i believe in throwing extravagant parties
and buying pinatas and shrines for the sake of a good invitation

i believe in killing them with kindness

i believe in letting people off the hook

i believe in making it work

i believe in writing on public transit

i believe in keeping it short
and that the world is beautiful
and that you should never take more than you need